The perfect person is in your mind. This person is designed by you. He or she looks, acts, walks and talks the way you imagine. The challenge is getting this person out of your mind and into your reality. The reality- you can’t. There’s one Creator of mankind. It’s impossible to create this individual. (We can produce others, but we can not create them. If you think so, try)
One day, if you find someone close to your perfect image, he or she will never add up to everything you desired. You’ll find this person will fall short of some of your expectations, either by words, actions or deeds. The reason- this person can’t follow the scripts written in your mind.
You could miss out on an ideal mate because you’ve chased an illusion of the image of perfection. The reality- we fall short of perfection and the person you’ve imagined does not exist.
If you do not fail to see things this way, whenever you finally decide to let go of the ideal of “the perfect one”, you might find yourself older, alone, or you’ve let the ideal person walk away.
Allow your potential mate to be unique. Appreciate the characteristics you were drawn to in him or her.
Instead of looking for someone to fulfill your script, learn to love and see them perfectly fine in his or her uniqueness.
One of my favorite quotes of Stephen R. Corvey: “Most people do not listen with the intent to listen; they listen with the intent to reply”
Listening is paying attention to what another person is saying. But how do you listen? Do you listen to get an understanding of what the person is saying? Are you listening to respond to what the individual is saying? While I do not purport to be a listening expert there is a significant difference in how we listen.
Our listening style affects our communication or the way we communicate. Listening to understand is listening attentively to see what the individual is saying from his or her perspective. Listening to respond means you might not have an understanding of what the person is saying, you are waiting your turn to respond.
Say, you decide to listen to understand, then, what’s next? After you have obtained an understanding, you are better equipped to respond from a sound premise. You are aware what the individual’s intentions or thoughts are and now you can address them responsibly.
Attentively listening to understand avoids the dynamics of responding but not addressing the matters at hand. The individual speaking will not have to continue to repeat or clarify what he or she is saying. You may save the both of you from further frustration.
If you’re like me, you sometimes respond before the person is finished speaking. If so, then you have listened to respond. We’ve all been there. Listening actively to understand takes practice and a conscious effort. We all believe what we are saying is important. But, if you’re not listening to understand try exercising this type of listening. You may find understand what the individual mean instead of what you think you think you hear them saying.